The Clearing of the Fog

Sometimes my mind and body become cluttered by a kind of fog. It’s a slow confusion that starts with a weak moment and results in a sort of slump. In this hole, I forget my strength, my willpower, even my true self. I get lost in the endless list of responsibilities, daily chores, but mostly my physical challenges. It’s not easy being 28 years old and having to deal with Cystic Fibrosis, arthritis, chronic sinus problems, multiple surgeries, osteopenia, and the next bug that comes along. It sucks, quite frankly. But in this fog, I lose sight of myself, my fight, and my true focus. I suppose it’s normal for an individual to lose focus from time to time. I’m sure that everyone does. However, I have learned over the years that no one can pull you out of a rut…..you have to pull yourself out!

The other night, I had a dream. And this dream woke me up and reminded me of my reality. My life has its’ challenges, that is for certain, but it also has its’ many blessings. I am not a religious person…I do not believe in a “god.” But, I do believe in loved ones watching over us, the strength of the human spirit, and the power of love. I believe that brick walls exist to weed out the people who don’t want it bad enough, thank you, Randy Pausch <3. I believe that our family members are kindred spirits, even soul mates….that are in our lives to help us grow as human beings and be the strong foundation in our life that will always be there to support us. I believe that sometimes bad things happen to really good people, and there may never be an explanation as to why. I believe that life is short, so it’s important to: have few regrets, make great memories, try new things, and live like you were dying (thank you, Tim McGraw). I believe that there can NEVER be too many hugs, I love yous, kisses, spontaneous moments (remember mom jumping in the creek with all her clothes on, I DO!!), compliments, heartfelt apologies, and encouraging words! I believe that there are no mistakes, just learning experiences, if you choose to see them. I believe that compassion could solve the world’s biggest problems. I believe that things can always be worse, and it serves us best to always keep that in mind. I believe that no one is perfect, but there is someone put on this earth who is just perfect for us (my Alejandro). And lastly, but definitely not least….I believe that there are two beautiful angels, who came into this world by way of stubborness and utter determination. But these two boys bring to my life pure joy, happiness, light, and laughter. They are my legacy, my loves, my true purpose….and I will never be able to express to them just how much they mean to me. BUT, I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to.

In the meantime, I have remembered (or been reminded), that life is not about wallowing in self pity or focusing too much on what challenges may lie ahead. Life is about….
Dancing like no one is watching
Singing like no one is listening
Laughing like there’s no tomorrow
And remembering to ride, never being worried about the fall